How To Care Of Your Cat Boy, By Alfred F Jones
by ahappygoat
Summary: Matthew is a genetically engineered cat boy who "belongs" to Alfred. But, as anyone with a cat knows, cats own you more than you own them.
1. The Bath

Quick background : Matthew is a genetically engineered cat boy for ownership created by Kiku, Alfred's friend. Since they are close, Alfred was given the opportunity to be one of the first people to own a cat boy. Lets just pretend there's nothing immoral about this ;) This will be multiple drabbles of their lives together and it will eventually be Amecan. Rating might possibly change in the future. Enjoy!

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1\. Threatening the livelihood of their balls is always a good way to get them to bathe.

"Matthew! Come out, you can't keep hiding forever!" Alfred hollered as he stomped through the house drenched in water. "From now on I'm going to be chaining you to the faucet since you can't seem to stay still for a 5 minute bath! Come on dude, ya stink!" he complained as he continued to wander around the house searching for Matthew.

Today was yet another attempt the bathe the stubborn BABY of a man… cat… whatever! Point is, every time he tried to shove him into the tub he would somehow end up being the only wet one and Matthew would disappear again.

Well today would be different. Today, Alfred was going to win, and Matthew would be so clean he wouldn't even need a bell attached to his neck for Alfred to know exactly where he was because his body would squeak with pure cleanliness at every movement!

"Matthew…" he suddenly paused as he came up with a new tactic. "Matthew, if you don't come out this instant I promise you I'm taking you to take you to the vet and have your balls cut off." Of course he wasn't serious; he doubted any vet would do such a surgery despite Matthew having certain feline features. But Matthew didn't know that.

A terrified _squeak_ sounded the house and the sudden thuds of running feet could be heard as Matthew ran towards Alfred at lightning speed. He obviously miscalculated how fast he was running for he hadn't stopped soon enough and _crashed_ right into Alfred flinging them both into the nearby wall.

"Don't you DARE Alfred! You know I'm not bad; I just hate you trying to bathe me! Let me bathe myself you damn dog!" Matthew whined as he repeatedly jabbed Alfred's chest in an attempt to cause him discomfort.

"I already tried letting you do that! But the last time I let you 'bathe' yourself you came out completely dry smelling like the bottle of Febreze you sprayed on yourself trying to trick me into thinking you showered! That's why I am bathing you right now whether you like it or not" he wrapped his arms around Matthew tightly and flipped them over to crouch over Matthew without letting him go. In one swoop he gathered Matthew up and flung him on his shoulder fireman style and stomped back to the bathroom.

"Aaaalfred, but I don't need to bathe! I'm a cat! Cats don't bathe!" he tried to reason as Alfred finally reached the bathroom and locked the door behind them.

"You're also part human which means you need to bathe, so let's get this over with." Alfred grumbled as he refilled the tub and set Matthew down on the counter again.

After making sure the water was warm he faced Matthew again who was giving him his best depressing stare in his final attempts to spare himself from the bath. Alfred merely shook his head before offering Matthew a smile, "come on, if you can do this for me I'll give you a prize…" Alfred cooed to at least try to make Matthew hate him a little less for this.

Matthew quirked an eyebrow at hearing the promise of a prize, "what kind of prize?" he asked while trying his best to act disinterested.

"Well there's only one way to find out, isn't there?" Alfred answered while plucking out the shampoo and conditioner from beneath the sink. "Come on, you know you want to know, curious cat" he waggled his eyebrows at him mockingly and finally shut off the faucet when the tub was filled.

Matthew debated on just scratching Alfred for mocking him but… he _really_ wanted to know. Damn him!

"Fine… but… come on Al, let me bathe myself? You can stay in here but just turn around and let me clean myself. You'll be here to make sure I actually do it" _and I'll keep what little dignity I have left_ he added to himself.

Alfred grinned and nodded at that preposition, "deal! But if you even try to pull a fast one on me I won't hesitate to actually buy a chain for you" he said before turning around and facing the door. "Now hurry up, and make sure to clean behind your ears!" he smiled to himself at the memory of his mother always telling him that as a child.

Matthew huffed in annoyance but accepted his fate. He quickly got undressed and slipped into the water, immediately feeling all the hair on his body rising in alarm_. The quicker I do this the better_ he encouraged himself as he quickly began to wash himself with the products Alfred had left out for him.

* * *

After Matthew finished what Alfred was sure could be awarded as the world's quickest bath, Matthew carefully waddled out of the bath and wrapped himself up in the large, white, fluffy towel left on the counter and sat shivering on the toilet.

"D-d-done" he spat out in obvious anger. Alfred turned around to inspect him from head to toe to make sure he was actually wet this time, and walked right next to him. Matthew gasped as he suddenly felt Alfred's hand behind his head bringing him forward as he buried his nose in his hair and sniffed.

"W-what the hell is wrong with you!?" Matthew gasped as he quickly pushed him away.

"I wanted to make sure you're actually clean, and congrats, you are!" he smiled before ruffling Matt's hair. "Hurry up and dry yourself, I'll be waiting in the room with your prize." And Alfred left Matthew alone and shivering.

"Damn him and his stupid baths and his stupid- wait where are my clothes?" Matthew wondered out loud as he tried to wrap the towel around himself tighter. "That dolt forgot my clothes!" he huffed in annoyance.

He dried himself to the best of his ability before wrapping himself in the towel and stomping out straight to the room, shivering the whole way. The door was already opened so he walked in without a second thought and straight to the closet.

"Hey! Slow down dude, aren't you going to ask for your prize?" he heard Alfred from somewhere behind him. "Let me get dressed first at least! _Someone_ forgot to-" he was suddenly grabbed by the arm and forced to turn around and face Alfred.

"I know, that's part of the prize!" Alfred grinned before leading him away from the closet and to the bed. "Look!" he pointed towards the bed.

Matthew turned to see what he was pointing at and was greeted by… "What the hell is that!? Why in the world would I wear a frog costume!" a bright neon green footsie costume along with a green hat designed to look like the face of a frog was neatly displayed on the bed.

"What? You don't like it? But I've seen loads of pictures of cats in costumes!"

"Do you forget I at least have some dignity? No way am I going to be your dress up doll, I wasn't made for that!" Matthews face was now flushed red in embarrassment.

Alfred looked a bit shocked by his reaction before hanging his head dejectedly "oh…"

Matthew was relieved he wasn't going to be forced to wear such an embarrassing costume until he had seen the look of absolute depression on Alfred's face which caused his chest to ache in guilt. Damn it….

"Fine. Turn around and don't you dare look back until I say so."

Alfred's face instantly brightened and spun on his heel to face away, "Alright!"

Well he recovered much quickly than Matthew imagined… _wait… was he faking? That damn- but fine. Fine. It'll only be for 20 minutes tops and then I'll sneak away and get some normal clothes_. _Honestly, I'm way too nice to him _he thought bitterly before picking up the costume hesitantly.

* * *

"You can turn around now" Matthew grumbled, facing the floor and refusing to look up at Alfred.

When Alfred turned around he was met with what was arguably the cutest sight he had ever witnessed. Matthew's face was absolutely flushed bright red which was a stark contrast to the bright green plush hat that adorned his head and the fuzzy one piece that clung to him snugly.

"Ooooh, what a cute froggy!"

"Watch it, dog" Matthew warned as he noticed Alfred's hand reaching towards him.

"Aww come on, frogs aren't supposed to be grumpy! Come on, give me a little ribbit" Alfred continued to tease.

"I REFUSE"

It was going to be a long 20 minutes.

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And there it is! I hope you enjoyed this first chapter, and there are many more to come. So far I have 15 planned chapters, but there will probably be more as I come up with more ideas. Constructive criticism is always welcomed, as well as suggestions for what possible shenanigans they do in the future. Thank you!


	2. Breakfast

2\. If your cat makes you breakfast, you eat it. No matter how lethal it is. You. Eat. It.

Alfred awoke to the familiar smell of burning food filling his nostrils. War-like flashbacks of being a child and having his older brother force feed him his horribly burnt meals came like a flood. Why was this scent back?! It's been years since he's had to endure that physical and psychological torture. He thought his taste buds were liberated! Free taste buds!

It took him a few moments for him to snap of out of his nostalgia to realize… he didn't live at home anymore. Arthur wasn't there to cook.

He dashed out of his bed and into the kitchen fully expecting a fire, and when he saw smoke filling the kitchen he was sure that's what he would see. But as he turned the corner and looked into the kitchen, instead he was greeted by a very proud looking Matthew covered in random egg stains and what appeared to be oil stains on his apron.

"Morning Al! I thought I'd make you breakfast for once" he said proudly, holding up and a spatula caked with a sludge he assumed was eggs. "Just sit! It's almost ready, just need to- oh damn it!" he exclaimed as he noticed the eggs were smoking up. "Damn, this is the third time… Well, at least it's not as bad as last time. Do you mind your eggs being a little charred?" he asked.

Alfred decided to play along and just shook his head, "nah, I'm sure it's fine" he replied before turning around and sitting at the table.

At first he debated telling Matthew to just throw away the food and they'd get McDonalds, but after seeing how happy Matt looked… and the cute apron wrapped around him wasn't helping, he decided to just suck it up and eat the meal that would surely cause his demise.

He watched as Matthew excitedly worked around the kitchen, a little bounce in his step and tail swaying happily behind him, and began to serve the food in plates he had already set down before Alfred came. He watched in horror as black eggs were rolled onto the plate, cold bread set beside it with a slice of cold butter just dropped on it, and a piece of raw salmon by it.

"Wow, looks great" he managed to lie between his teeth.

"Thank you! Now eat up, I already ate fish earlier because smelling all this food made me hungry" he said sheepishly before sitting beside Alfred. "So don't worry about me, just eat."

Alfred nodded grimly, eyeing the food suspiciously. He had to do it. For Matthew. And besides, he could see this as the ultimate test! The test he had been training for all the years he had to endure Arthur's cooking. Yes. It was finally time for the death of his taste buds to come in handy…

He looked up at Matthew who was staring at him; he could practically see the stars in his eyes as he anticipated Alfred's reactions. He picked up his fork and gathered up a few pieces of egg. He saw the fork coming towards his mouth, he could hear the Jaws theme song playing somewhere in the background.

He brought it to his mouth. And bit.

* * *

Note : you know he died after that. RIP. But it's ok because Mattie was happy.


	3. Nesting Habits

3\. Your cat boy will make nests. And when he does, you don't beat him. You join him.

"Matthew?" Alfred called out worriedly as he walked down the hall. "Matt, if you're just playing, it's not funny anymore!" he said as he glanced around the living room for the third time.

He woke up this morning to find the usual warmth of Matthew sleeping by his legs gone and figured he must've woken up early and would find him watching tv in the living room, but a quick walk through the house showed this was in fact not the case. In fact, he couldn't find him anywhere! And it wasn't helping he wasn't responding to Alfred calling out his name. By now he would've screamed at him to shut up or something! Where the hell had he gone?

Alfred was pacing up and down the living trying to think of where Matthew had gone. He knew he liked going outside, but he never left without telling him first (or dragging him along), so that wasn't an option. Perhaps he had wandered off to the marker? He knew he had been pestering him for more salmon, and he had taught Matthew how to use his credit card in case he ever had to leave for business…

He walked over to the table and picked up his sweater, reaching into the pockets. _Nope_. His wallet was still there.

Then where the hell – **CRASH**!

Alfred immediately jumped and looked around him for the source of the sound when he heard the faint sound of muttering. _Matthew?_

He listened for the source of the sounds and realized it was coming from his room. He quickly jogged his way over and looked around, but it was empty. "Matt?" he called out.

"Go away" he heard the quiet come back coming from… the closet? Damn it! Of course he would be there.

He immediately opened up the closet door only to have a mini avalanche of clothes pool at his feet and a curled up, half asleep, Matthew on the top of it. It took a few moment for Matthew to finally look up and acknowledge Alfred, "Wha'dya want?" he grumbled as he began reaching for the doorknob to shut it again.

"What are you doing? And what the hell was that sound?" Alfred questioned as he pushed the door further away from his grasp.

Matthew only buried his face into the clothes again before answering, "This is my nest, now go away. And don't worry, I only hit the door by accident, didn't break anything" and then going silent again.

Now that Alfred looked around, he noticed how all his clean clothes had been missing from the hangers, all of them now pooled haphazardly under Matthew in a makeshift bed. He couldn't help but laugh a little and shake his head at the boy's antics. How could he have ever gone so long without his companionship? Cleaning could come later, but for now…

Matthew lifted his head up when he suddenly felt his "bed" shift under the weight of Alfred who was now shifting around next to him trying to settle down as well.

"What are you doing" he asked as Alfred finally settled down on back and grabbed a hanger to reach the doorknob and shut it once again.

"We're camping in the closet, now go to sleep" he said, setting the hanger down beside him.

They couldn't see each other in the darkness, but they were both smiling blissfully as Matthew finally settled down again, head resting on Alfred's shoulder.

"Good night Al" he said before shutting his eyes again.

"Night Mattie" he whispered before bringing his hand up to softly caress his head.

They would both regret it in a few hours from now when they woke up to extremely stiff backs, but as they both drifted off to sleep again with each other's warmth, it didn't matter.

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I actually really liked writing this chapter, cute fluff! As always, reviews are always appreciated. Thank you!


	4. The Laser Pointer

4\. Mocking your cat boy with lasers earn you a vicious tickling.

"Aaaaaalfred, I'm bored! Play with me play with me!" Matthew whined from the couch as Alfred sat on his desk.

"I'm sorry Mattie but I can't! I have 2 new clients and I need to get this done before tomorrow" Alfred called back without sparing him a glance. You'd think working from home gave him a lot more free time, but really it only meant he was on call 24/7 when needed.

Matthew flopped back on the couch with an annoyed growl as he tried to figure out a way to entertain himself again.

Destroy Alfred's socks? Done

Bother the hamsters? Done

Rub his chin on every possible surface? Done

It seemed like there was nothing else to do but bother Alfred until he decided to ditch his work for him. Honestly, why waste time working when Matthew was there? What could be better than sitting on the couch while Matthew gracefully ignored him?

Really, Alfred had his priorities all wrong.

* * *

Matthew was finally beginning to doze off when a sudden bright red flash interrupted his peace. _What was that…?_

He blinked drowsily before the sudden flash of red invaded his vision once again causing him to sit up in alert. He squinted his eyes slightly and looked around the room to find the source of the evil red light that interrupted his sleep. He saw Alfred still working diligently at his desk so crossed him off his list of possible perpetrators and continued to carefully inspect the room.

_THERE!_ He exclaimed to himself when he finally saw a bright red dot, about the size of a quarter, staring at him mockingly from the wall across the couch. _What in the world…_

Well, we all know how we're supposed to investigate mysterious angry red lights.

_By attacking them_.

Matthew careful crawled off the couch and crouched lowly on the ground as to not startle his new prey. It remained still, _what a naïve creature_… He carefully inched his way closer to the wall without losing sight of it for a moment. Nobody woke him up without feeling his fury.

He had finally gotten just a few feet away from the glowing orb that had yet to move an inch. Now he just had to capture it! His legs bent at the knees as he prepared to launch himself at the creature; there was no way he'd give it a chance to escape.

3…2… 1!

Matthew pounced at the wall nearly crashing face first into it before his hands took the full impact, successfully capturing the red dot. _YES! There is absolutely no way it could have esca- what?_

Matthew cocked his head in confusion as he slowly moved away his hands to reveal a blank wall. "What!" he cried out in confusion and began to frantically look around him. He was so sure he caught it! Where the hell could it have – THERE! He saw the deviant spinning around in frenzy on the floor now, he must have startled it!

He dropped to the floor and immediately began slapping his hands all over the floor to catch the elusive dot from hell, "Wait! Damn it stop moving

you stupid thing!" He growled in frustration after multiple failed attempts of trapping it. What was this thing!?

It was then he heard muffled, but obvious, laughter. He looked up and saw Alfred's shoulders shaking slightly as he covered his mouth in attempt to shut off his laughter. Wait a minute…

It was then he noticed the ray of red that lead from the dot straight to Alfred's side, a small metal tube discreetly tucked between his arm and side. Is that... A laser pointer?!

"You asshole!" he shouted without a shred of dignity left. It was then Alfred spun around in his chair and let out a loud obnoxious laugh he must have been holding for a while. "Dude! You should have seen yourself!" he managed to say between bursts of laughter as he doubled over on his chair, "That was sooo cute!" Matthew felt his face heat up in embarrassment before he pushed himself up off the floor and started walking toward Alfred.

Tears prickling Alfred's eyes from laughter, he finally looked up again to see Matthew making his way towards his, his ears twitching in annoyance at every step and tail flicking behind him.

"M-Mattie?" Alfred questioned as he tried to contain his laughter again. "Come on! It was fun, wasn't-" He was cut off as Matthew pounced on him, knocking them both to the floor with the chair and immediately felt as Matthew began to bite his face repeatedly and his tail snaking its way under his arms to one of Alfred's most ticklish spots.

"NOOOOOOO!" Alfred shrieked as he began to thrash under Matthew's unending "attacks". Matthew would never admit it, but it WAS fun. So he'd let him off easy. This time.

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Note: eeee sorry for the slow update, no internet! But I figured out how to update on my phone WOOOOP. and in my internetless boredom, I wrote 6 more chapters, so expect that. Thank you for all the faves and follows!


	5. First Kisses

5\. Cat boys don't have much idea of social norms, and movies aren't the best teachers for them. Actually… it may not be so bad.

The room was completely dark save for the flickering lights emitting from the large television. Matthew sat comfortably, curled up against Alfred's side as they both watched the romantic comedy playing before them. Alfred would never admit it, but he was always a fan of a good romance. But, Matthew wasn't one to judge, so it should be fine to watch it with him.

It wasn't until after about the 3rd awkwardly funny kiss scene that played on the movie when he suddenly felt Matthew shift beside him. Alfred curiously turned his head to face Matthew, only to suddenly feel warmth crashing into his lips. He sat there stunned for a few moments, tempted to just sit there and enjoy it before he finally realize what was happening, eyes widening as he gently pushed Matthew away.

"M-Mattie?" he questioned, cheeks reddening by the second. Matthew stopped and seemed to think about what just happened as well before smiling and lying back on Alfred as if nothing had happened. "I saw it happen so many times in shows and movies, decided to see what all the fuss was about" he stated Matthew of factly.

Alfred stared at him at shock before he realized... Matthew hadn't had much experience in social interactions and didn't know how kissing on the lips was usually not seen as a casual thing… but… it wouldn't hurt to let it happen again…Or maybe a few more times. Couple hundred kisses never hurt anyone, Right? Right.

"Oh! Of course, just took me by surprise is all. Feel free to practice on me all ya want" he said with a sheepish grin.

Matthew responded with another quick kiss before settling down again and continuing the movie. Alfred was nearly tempted to show him more movies involving sex scenes…

It wasn't until a week full of kisses later that Alfred decided to explain how exclusive and personal kisses were when Matthew tried to kiss the neighbor. He made sure to point out that he was _only_ allowed to kiss Alfred from now on and forever.

And Matthew accepted happily.

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If I ever write any smut for this it'll be pretty ... OK. Really kinky stuff. So if I ever make smut, I'll probably do it in a separate story to keep this fluffy or would you guys like to see a few chapters once in a while with smut? I'd put warnings in the start of course. But it'd be nice to hear some opinions.


	6. Dancing

6\. Cat boys make the best dancing partners, (Everybody dance meow).

Alfred arrived home with an arm full of groceries, quietly pushing the door open and nudging it closed with his butt while he carefully balanced all the groceries. Who needs to take more than one trip to the car for carrying in groceries? Not Alfred Fucking Jones, that's for sure!

He had left earlier than usual, not wanting to disturb Matthew who had spent the previous night discovering the joy that is video games. He had only fallen asleep when he quite literally passed out on his way to the kitchen for more refreshments and Alfred had to carry him to the bed. Not that he minded of course, it was a rare time when Alfred had gotten a chance to see Matthew sleeping since he always seemed to sleep later, yet somehow wake up earlier.

He set down the groceries on the table when he suddenly heard music coming from the room. '_Huh, so Matthew's already awake?'_ Alfred made quick work of storing the groceries before preparing sandwiches for the both of them and heading to the room.

The closer he got, the more audible the music got. _'Was that… classical music? Huh, didn't know Matt was into that.' _He thought to himself before balancing both plates on his left hand, using his right to open the door.

What he saw nearly made him drop the plates.

* * *

Matthew woke up on the unusually cold bed, groggily rubbing his eyes before opening them to see he was alone in the bed. _'Huh, don't remember even going to bed…'_ Matthew pushed himself up on his elbows and looked around the room to confirm that he was in fact alone in the room.

He got off the bed and walked to the living room, then kitchen, seeing that Alfred was nowhere in sight. It was then he noticed the sheet of paper left on the kitchen table.

"_Left 2 store, back in 1 hour"_ with a quickly drawn happy face.

Now how in the world was he going to spend the next hour?

* * *

Alfred resisted the urge to ruin the moment by shrieking at the adorable sight. He watched, hands pressed over his mouth to keep silent, as Matthew twirled and swayed around the room to the music. His eyes were closed, a small smile on his lips as he listened to the music coming from the laptop at the corner of the room. His hands clung to his own shoulders as he moved as if dancing with a partner to the upbeat ballroom music.

Alfred carefully set the plates down by the door and continued to watch for a minute more before looking to the laptop. He noticed there were only a few minutes left in this particular piece, so he decided to make his move.

He quietly walked into the room and waited for the brief moment that Matthew twirled again, facing him at last. Alfred walked into his space, grabbing both of his hands and pulling them away from his own shoulder and into his own hands, grasping them tightly. Matthew gasped at the sudden intrusion, but visibly calmed when he noticed it was Alfred. An adorable blush covered his cheeks and his dancing halted momentarily before Alfred took the lead and began slowly easing into the rhythm of the music.

Alfred was the first to break the silence between them, "I know it's a little late to ask but, may I have this dance?" he asked, putting on a confident front but his wandering eyes and flushed cheeks showed that he was also at least a bit shy.

Matthew laughed softly before nodding his head, "I accept your offer, oh noble Alfred" he teased lightly. He laughed again at the goofy grin that spread on Alfred's face at his acceptance, yelping when Alfred suddenly lifted one of his hands in the air and eased him into a small twirl.

"I shall be the best dance you've ever had then, _princess_ Matthew" he teased back, immediately earning a small smack on the arm for that, but it made Matthew laugh none the less.

"I'll hold you up to that then" Matthew challenged playfully, this time getting a fair warning from Alfred's hand raise that he was about to be twirled again making it easier to go along.

When the song ended and the next one in the YouTube playlist automatically played, Alfred was happy to see that it was a slower piece. He pulled Matthew into his chest, their hands still held together tightly, and began to move slowly to the music. Matthew took the opportunity to lay his head against Alfred shoulder content with just swaying and stepping slowly to this piece.

They spent the rest of the morning dancing together, frequently switching roles on which the lead was and switching styles as the music style changed from quick and upbeat to slow and peaceful and everything in between until they were both too exhausted to continue (and the laptop died).

* * *

Note: I'm going to be tracked down and slapped for that horrible pun at the beginning.

Yeah but just take a moment to imagine Matthew dancing by himself to ballroom music, eyes closed with a blissful little smile as he moved through the room easily and his hips swaying to the melody. Gosh, that is one of the cutest things I've imagined.


	7. Halloween

Note: 1,000 READS! Thank youuuu! So, here's a new chapter one week early.

* * *

7\. You need to control how much candy your cat boy eats. And yourself.

Matthew's back was stretched over the armrest of the couch, head touching the floor as he fiddled with the large bone shaped tag of the thick collar that adorned his neck. He hated it. When Alfred asked Matthew what the scariest costume he could think of was, he immediately responded "mutt". Of course, Alfred immediately jumped at the idea of dressing Matthew up as "Ace the Dog", the doggy side kick of the hero he was going to play for Halloween (Batman).

"Alfreeed" he whined, "Hurry up!"

"In a minute Mattie!"

It only took a couple of minutes for Matthew to hear the excited thuds of footsteps running down the hall and he flipped himself upright on the couch again finding comfortable purchase on the armrest. Alfred stood at the end of the hall striking a pose, showing off his brand new Batman costume.

"What'd'ya think?" he asked with a large grin on his face, giving his pose a small rest to perform a small spin.

No response. Awe man; was Matthew still sulking over their matching costumes?

He ran up to the couch, "Come ooon, it's not that bad!" he tried to convince him, "This is a couple's costume! In a way…" he murmured the last part.

Really, Matthew wasn't sulking. He was actually a bit too mesmerized by how perfect the costume fit Alfred's body, but he was NOT about to admit that.

"Fine fine" Matthew pretended to reluctantly agree, "I forgive you."

Alfred clung to Matthew, "Yes! Now let's hurry up and leave before all the little kids get to all the good candy first!" he exclaimed, hopping up and pulling up Matthew along with him as he ran to the table to collect their treat bags. "TO THE BATMOBILE, ACE!"

Matthew stared as Alfred pretended to hold open a passenger car door in the living room, motioning for Matthew to join him. Matthew rolled his eyes, a small smile on his lips. Fine, he'd play along this once, he wasn't going to enjoy it (yeah right) but he'd do it.

"Aye aye batman!" he exclaimed before hopping into the "car".

Alfred ran around the imaginary car and got in the front seat next to Matthew.

"Keys in the ignition" Alfred reached out to grab Matthew's hand.

"turning it on" lightly squeezed his hand.

"And we're off!" he opened the door and dashed out with a stumbling Matthew struggling to keep up pace.

* * *

"During my funeral, I want you to play 'staying alive' " Alfred said, costume and face covered in the aftermath of his sweets binge, Matthew lying next to him in a similar state. Wrappers surrounded them, the cruel reminder of the sugar attack they launched on their stomachs.

Matthew nodded, making a mental note of that. "Then during my funeral, you have to play 'another one bites the dust'" 'Matthew said.

Alfred raised an eyebrow, "Are you sure? We could always play that one song that goes 'dance, I'm a kitty cat, and I dance dance dance till I can't dance dance' and I can even suspend you on some ropes to make your corpse dance along".

Matthew blinked a few times at the thought. "Alright."

Alfred nodded before continuing his own funeral plans, "Ok, so when you lower my coffin you're going to play 'Drop it like it's hot', and when I'm lowered completely, I expect you to be jump down onto my coffin and commence dancing on it." Alfred grinned at the thought.

Matthew snorted, "Fine, so when I'm lowered I want the Tetris them playing"

Alfred laughed, "Ok, I'll find a way to dance to that."

Matthew furrowed his eyebrows, rolling onto his bloated tummy "Wait… but if you're dead… and if I'm going to die too… how will we do this?"

Alfred's eyes widened before he rolled onto his stomach as well to face Matthew, "You're right" he said, "We both ate a deadly amount of sweets, and I don't think we'll survive the night to tell anybody else of our plans." He frowned at the thought of them not having kick ass funerals.

"WAIT!" Matthew exclaimed, pushing his chest off the ground with his arms and struggling for a few moments to get onto his knees. He crawled over the desk a few feet away, only pausing to almost puke 5 times, not too many, and rummaged through Alfred's things to pull out a notebook and pen to write down their plans for whoever smells their dead bodies first and decides to investigate.

He shuffled back to Alfred on his knees before plopping down on the floor again, opening the notebook to the very last page for a blank spot. "We'll leave our last message to the world here!" Matthew said, handing the pencil over to Alfred.

Alfred laughed, "Good thinking Mattie!" he said as Matthew laid back down on his stomach next to Alfred so they could begin leaving their funeral demands.

They spent the next hour planning and cracking jokes about their funeral, leaving a fully detailed list behind before Alfred collapsed. It took a few moments of Matthew panicking over Alfred having actually died that his thoughts were suddenly interrupted by the most inhuman snore he'd ever heard, and he realized he had just fallen asleep.

He laughed quietly before deciding he may as well get some shut eye too, and hope their stomach aches would be gone by tomorrow. He pulled Alfred's arm out from under his body and stretched it out in front of him, using it as a pillow as he finally went to sleep.

* * *

Note: Made this because I've had a killer stomach ache for the past 4 days that would just not go away, and I legitimately left my funeral demands in a long letter on the table. I demand my corpse to be suspended in the air, watching the attendees as "Every Breath You Take" plays on repeat… "Every breath you take, every move you make, every bond you break, every stop you take, I'LL BE WATCHING YOUUUUUU" ehehehe… sorry family.

Quick apology to the people who read it when I first posted it, I accidentally posted the non edited version. And the second time I posted it without editing.


	8. Bags

8\. Every cat boy needs a toy bag. And this is how you do it.

_First things first, your cat boy will not appreciate a plain bag. Now, while normal cats would happily settle for a box over a luxury play pen, you must remember that cat boys are also humans and enjoy occasional luxuries. _

_Matthew himself has a large hamster shaped bag. Its fuzziness also doubles as a pillow. Now, let's take a look inside._

_Plenty of colorful yarn. This may be a bit of a hazard, you should be prepared to have to come to the rescue with a pair of scissors when he manages to strangle himself (again) with the yarn, but he insists it's worth the risk of death by strangulation. It's apparently very fun._

_Cat nip. Another hazard, you will find he sometimes forgets how much is too much and you'll find him naked and passed out face first in the dirty laundry basket while covered in a sticky substance you can only hope, PRAY, is syrup. But the moment you take it away and put a ban on the goods, you'll be exiled to the couch of shame from your own room and never allowed to kiss him again. Your best choice is to just limit it to little amounts at a time._

_Dead rat_.

_Wait… _

Alfred threw the rat out the window, resting his pen on the desk and putting his newest entry to his "Matthew care guide" journal on pause.

"Matthew!" he hollered, "What the hell did I say about storing dead animals?"

Matthew took no more than 5 seconds to dash into their room again, seeing his toy bag on top of Alfred's desk. He then ran to it and began frantically searching inside of it. When he didn't find what he was looking for, he looked around the room before glaring at Alfred.

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO MINI MATT?" he demanded.

Alfred raised a brow, cocking his head in confusion, "Mini… Matt?" he asked, " You named a dead rat after yourself? I threw him out the window of course!" he shouted.

Matthew's eyes widened and he stared at the window. "YOU IDIOT! HE WAS MY FIRST HUNT!" he shrieked, immediately dashing out of the room. Alfred heard the front door open and shut a few moments after.

He rolled his eyes, really, all this for a rat? He should have known by now some things are better left unknown.

He turned his chair around, picking his pen back up and continuing on with his list.

_Where were we… ah, 4._

4\. _Emergency sausage. Never know when you'll get hungry. I've taught Matthew well… but I'm sure he won't mind if it were to go missing in his loving owner's belly right about now._

5_. A picture of his owner…_

Alfred took a moment to bury his face in his hands at the adorableness, a bright red flush adorning his cheeks as he continued to stare at the his own picture Matthew felt the need to carry around. He made a mental note to cuddle him to death tonight.

6_. A grand assortment of collars. Most people would be insulted by wearing collars, but most cat boys find them endearing. To them it's proof that they are well loved and cherished, so it's not a surprise if they keep a collars with them at all times in various styles_.

7_. A copy of "1,001 puns" in case of boredom._

_Well… no shame in taking a peak._

_How many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh?_

_Ten-tickles._

…_.._

Alfred took a moment to inhale and exhale deeply.

_God damn it_.

7\. _Their owner's underwear_.

Alfred's eye twitched.

"MATTHEW GET OVER HERE!"

Matthew peered his head in, the half rotted rat that Alfred had thrown out earlier hung from his mouth. "Hmm?"

"Damn it Mattie, get that out of your mouth! I gotta kiss that mouth of yours, careful with what you put in it" he whined.

Matthew squinted his eyes at him, daring him to make him, before shaking his head in defiance. Alfred just rolled his eyes at his stubbornness before raising his underwear up.

"Alright, I thought we agreed you'd stop stealing my clothes?" Alfred said.

Matthew finally pulled the rat out of his mouth," but I like your scent!" he complained before walking up to Alfred, snatching the underwear back and stuffing it back in his bag again.

"But can't you take a shirt or sweater?! Do they have to be my fucking underwear?" he tried to reason.

Matthew ignored him and ran off with his prize again, leaving Alfred with a half done journal entry that he wasn't sure he'd ever want to finish.

* * *

Notes: animals are fucking weird when it comes to what they steal from you. Don't give a damn if it's your dirty underwear or grandmother's urn. Everything is theirs now.

So any thoughts, advice, or even ratings? Itd be nice to hear :3 thanks for reading.


	9. Laundry Monster

9\. Good luck getting your cat boy to do laundry.

It had been the middle of the afternoon and Matthew was napping away on the couch. Napping instead of doing the laundry that he had promised Alfred he'd do earlier.

So when he was abruptly awoken by a blanket of warm, pleasant smelling fabrics, he knew it was Alfred's way of annoying him.

"Oh no, Mattieeee, the laundry monster has gotten you and it's demanding you fold it! Or else it's eating you alive!" Alfred screamed dramatically, carrying the empty laundry basket in hand as he tried hard not to begin laughing at the moving pile of clean laundry that was once Matthew.

"That's nice…" Matthew murmured, deciding the impromptu clothes blanket was actually very comfortable as he began to nuzzle deeper into it.

"But you don't understand! If you don't start folding it now, you'll be EATEN!" Alfred reached down to gently shake Matthew.

Instead of the snarky reply he expected, he was surprised to hear soft snores instead. 'What, he fell asleep again!?' he thought to himself, having half the mind to pull Matthew off the couch. But instead sighed, deciding there was really no winning a sleepy Matthew.

He knelt down beside the couch and gently moved away the few articles of clothing covering Matthew's face. Matthew's ears twitched slightly, nose scrunching at the sudden disappearance of warmth from his face, but remained asleep.

Alfred reached to softly caress his cheeks, smiling when Matthew's immediate reaction was nuzzling into the warmth of his palms.

'Really, you're too cute for your own good' Alfred thought as he rested his head on the armrest of the couch, and continued to softly caress Matthew's cheeks and head.

* * *

Note: ;w; got this idea from this freaking adorable text post on tumblr. I had to write it down quickly. Here's to the shortest chapter I've ever written, and probably ever will. Next chapter comes will be longer, it's taking forever because I'm working on 6 of these chapters from this story at once, hopping from chapter to work on whichever I'm in the mood for at the time.;w;


	10. Show Down

10\. You should probably make sure your neighbor's dog doesn't have easy access to your cat boy unless you want to clean up after the battle.

Matthew hissed harshly as he stood on all fours, eyeing the vicious creature that was barking at him. Both of their tails were standing straight out in attention and Matthew's hairs raised in defense along with his ears.

Yes, it was the showdown that was destined to happen since Matthew moved into Alfred's house. That was written in stone of fate. They both knew it was inevitable and neither would try to play the hands of destiny.

It was the heated confrontation with the Chihuahua next door.

The little mongrel had escaped from his own yard again and had trotted its way to Matthew's front yard while Matthew was trying to (unsuccessfully) harvest his own catnip secretly in the yard. Of course Alfred noticed, but didn't have the heart to tell him that just burying a pouch of catnip would not sprout a catnip tree.

So there Matthew was, watering the empty patch of soil when he suddenly felt… watched. He felt a cold shiver run down his back and the hairs on his body rise in alarm. He twirled around on his toes, ready for action. He was met with the beady, bugling black eyes of the soulless bastard. The Chihuahua was trotting into his yard like he owned the fucking place, staring intensely at Matthew with empty black eyes as Matthew watched on with fiery violet eyes, challenging him to do something.

But Matthew should've known that the monster would not have backed down from a challenge.

The _thing_ stopped just a few feet away from Matthew, and… oh god no…

Matthew watched in horror as the beast lifted a single leg up, eyes still staring at Matthew as it suddenly released a gush of devil fluids from its loins. The stupid thing was peeing on his plants! And it had the nerve to look at Matthew smugly while doing it.

"Oh, it's on" Matthew growled, dropping the still running hoes as he fell to a primal stance of all fours before the Chihuahua. "That's the last time you piss on my yard, mutt" Matthew snarled, his lips drawn back to reveal pointed canines.

"YIP YIP!"

"Don't you yip yip me, butt face" Matthew scoffed.

The Chihuahua seemed to finally accept the challenge, lowering its head and snarling at Matthew back with the occasional squeak. Matthew smirked, "So you're finally going to step up, let me warn you, it'll be… ruff on you" Matthew had to snicker at his own joke as the Chihuahua buried its face in the ground in embarrassment for him.

Matthew shook his head, "Alright, no more funny business." He announced, his features turning serious again. The small dog looked up at him again and resumed its stance.

They began circling each other, sizing each other up before either attacked. When a minute passed of nothing but growls going around in circles, Matthew decided he would have to be the first to attack seeing as his opponent was too much of a scaredy dog to make the first move.

Matthew raised his hips in the air, preparing to launch himself at the quivering ball of fury.

"Mattieeeee~ Dinner is ready!"

Matthew got distracted for a brief second, turning his head to the sound where his owner stood at the front door for him. It was only a second that the beast needed to attack.

Matthew screeched when he was suddenly pounced on by a miniature dog, its sharp teeth snapping viciously and nails scratching him wildly.

"Get off get off! You're cheating!" Matthew whined, falling back onto the flower bed with the Chihuahua at his chest, gnawing at his nose and scratching his neck.

"MATTIE!" Alfred shouted, running towards the sight of the battle. He was about to pull the dog off his thrashing cat but found the hose running just beside him. He swooped the hose up and aimed at the both of them. He clenched his eyes, "Forgive me Matthew, but I need to do this to save you!" he shouted before unleashing the hose on the both of them.

Matthew shrieked for dear life as the water doused him, the yapping dog now running to the safety of his own yard leaving Matthew to alone to face the hose. "STOP IT ALFRED, HE'S GONE!" he shouted, holding his hands over himself in a poor attempt to shield the water away.

Alfred opened his eyes again, dropping the hose finally and running the Matthew. He was lying on the floor, his chest heaving and eyes fluttering closed as he shivered in the pool of water. Alfred dropped to his knees beside Matthew, grasping his hands and holding them up to his own chest.

"M-Matthew, are you… are you ok?" he asked shakily.

Matthew turned his face away for a second to cough before turning his head back slowly to gaze at Alfred, opening his eyes narrowly. "A-Alfred…" Matthew panted out, "It's… It's so bright" he whispered between labored breaths.

"NO MATTIE, YOU CAN'T GO TO THE LIGHT! WE STILL HAVE 40 CHAPTERS PLANNED!" Alfred cried out, hunching over Matthew's body.

Matthew coughed again, "No you dumbass, you're sitting on the side of the sun and I can't look at you without being blinded" he deadpanned, losing the weak and wounded nature he had going on before.

"Oh" Alfred said, awkwardly shuffling his knees around Matthew to sit at his other side before taking his hands again.

"Th-that's… better" Matthew murmured, returning to his wounded state.

Tears prickled Alfred's eyes, shaky hands squeezing Matt's wet and cold ones, "Mattie… I'm… I'm so sorr-"

"Shhh…" Matthew interrupted, closing his eyes as he took in a deep breath before opening his eyes again narrowly. "I… I know y-you had to" Matthew whispered.

Alfred shook his head, trying to deny to himself that he had done such a dastardly thing to his cat. What kind of owner was he!?

"A-Alfred…" Matthew whispered.

Alfred leant down close, sniffling softly and still refusing to let go of Matthew's hand. "What is it Mattie? Tell me, hurry!" he urged.

Matthew gave a sad smile, his eyelids drooping before he finally allowed himself to close his eyes. "C-Come closer…" he murmured.

Alfred nodded, leaning down nearly face to face with Matthew who was still shivering.

"Alfred… i… I just wanted to say…. FUCK YOU!" he yelled, yanking his hands away from Alfred's, pushing Alfred away and onto his back. Alfred stared up at him bewildered as Matthew pushed himself up and ran straight behind him.

Alfred pushed himself to a sitting position and turned around to see where Matthew was headed, only to be met with a face full of water. "NOOO, ARGHHG!" Alfred wailed as he fell backwards again while the stream of freezing water continued to hit him.

Matthew smirked triumphantly just a few feet away, aiming Alfred with the hose. "REVENGE!" he shouted before deciding Alfred had enough. He threw the hose to the side, crossing his arms over his chest as he looked down at a drenched Alfred proudly.

Alfred gasped a breath of fresh air, pushing himself up on all fours as he coughed up water on the grass. "Y-You're… Evil" Alfred rasped between coughs as Matthew laughed at him.

"That's what you get!" Matthew snickered as Alfred pushed himself up, waddling towards him comically as the jeans he wore now clung to his legs. By the time he noticed the glint in Alfred's eye, Matthew was already on the floor again while a sopping wet Alfred clung to him.

"LET ME GO, YOU SMELL LIKE WET DOG!" Matthew screamed, thrashing in Alfred's tight hold.

"And you smell like wet cat!" Alfred laughed, shaking his head roughly causing water to splash on Matthew's face.

By the time they had finished their little tussle and called truce, their clothes were drying and had begun chafing their skin. They were both lying in the muddy grass, shoulder to shoulder as Matthew sulked while Alfred prodded him, making silly faces with the occasional joke to get Matthew to pay attention to him again. It wasn't until Alfred's eyes went wide with fear, jolting up that Matthew turned his attention to him again. He ran away, nearly slipping on the sloppy grass as he dashed to the hose.

"THE WATER BILL IS GOING TO BE INSANE!"

* * *

Note: yay yay new chapter! So, how was it?


	11. Wishes

Note: Meteor showers last different amounts times, and can be like 50 meteors an hour during the "peak", and then like 20 an hour following.

* * *

11\. Remember to frequently have date nights for bonding with your cat boy. Even if you have to force them.

Alfred ran into the living, aiming straight for the sleeping bundle of blankets on the couch and launching himself on it. "WAKE UP WAKE UP, DATE NIGHT DATE NIIIII-AAAH!" his chanting interrupted when he was flung off the couch by a not-so-happy Matthew.

After making sure he didn't snap his neck in the fall, he sat up again and watched from the ground as Matthew began to stir to life under the blankets. The first thing he saw was a furry blond tail peak out from under the end of the blanket, shortly followed by blond ears poking out from the other end.

"Matttiiieee~" Alfred cooed, scooting closer to the couch again, "Come ouuuut~ DATE NIGHT DATE NIGHT DATE NI-" He was silenced by something abruptly covering his mouth, going cross eyes momentarily to see the offending hand that shot out of the blanket to cover his mouth.

"Shut. Up. I heard you the first time!" Matthew finally pushed his head out of the blankets and looked at Alfred visibly annoyed. Of course that annoyed face paired with the bed hair and barely visible trail of drool on his cheek didn't make him look intimidating in the least, and only 10 x cuter that usual.

Alfred smiled, sitting cross legged on the floor and looking up expectantly at Matthew, "Sooo~ if you heard me, why didn't you get up! We need to go man!" he said. Matthew could have sworn he was literally vibrating with excitement; what the heck did he have planned that was so exciting?

"Fine, but at least let me get dressed first" he said, kicking away the blankets.

"Oh, let me help!" Alfred exclaimed, leaning forward to grasp the end of his shirt to pull off. Matthew's eyes widened, immediately hissing. It wasn't until Alfred saw the clawed hand making its way towards his face that he realized the grave mistake he made.

* * *

"Ugh, I'm going to declaw you." Alfred grumbled, rubbing his stinging cheek that now sported bright red slashes. Matthew was following behind him as they walked to the front door, buttoning up the last of his coat.

"Well if you weren't so handsy when I barely wake up, this wouldn't have happened at all" he muttered behind him, looking at the ground guiltily and following Alfred out the door and shutting it behind himself with his tail.

Alfred stopped on the porch when he heard Matthew's voice, oh he knew that tone. He whirred around to see the still guilty expression on Matthew, his tail hanging down and ears pressed against his head.

It was at that moment that Alfred thought he could have literally died of the cuteness.

"Awwww Mattie! Don't feel bad!" he cooed, walking forward with open arms to grasp Matthew.

Matthew's eyes widened, letting Alfred wrap himself around him. He pressed his face against Alfred's shoulder, mumbling "Not guilty" but accepting the affection none the less.

Alfred wiggled the pouting cat in his arms before letting go and grasping his hand, "Now come on, I promise we'll both feel a lot better when I show you the place I found" he grinned.

Matthew cocked his head curiously, not even having the time to reply before he was suddenly tugged by Alfred who was skipping ahead of him, "Come on Mattie, skip! Skip!" he chirped with a gleeful smile.

Matthew couldn't help but giggle and skip after him; taking only a few seconds to catch up to Alfred as they skipped down the small block and into the outskirt of the nearby forest Alfred led them into.

* * *

By the time Alfred had abruptly halted their running , the sun had completely set leaving them in completely darkness.

"We… We're a-almost there… OK Mattie?" Alfred stuttered out, glancing around rapidly.

Matthew nodded, "Alrighty" he answered nonchalantly as he looked at his surroundings. Unlike Alfred, his vision was fantastic at night which enabled him to see the perfectly fine in the forest which was still very much swarming with night life.

"D-don't be s-s-scared, ok Mattie? I g-got you" Alfred chattered, grasping onto Matthew's arm tightly as he followed the familiar path he had gone down a hundred times alone before Mattie came alone. Each time he would bring a flashlight. Of course, on the day he least wanted to look like a pansy in front of his boyfriend he would forget his flashlight…

Matthew stared at Alfred who was now walking as close to him as he could, "I'm not scared" he said, perplexed at why Alfred was shivering so violently at his side. 'Is he cold?'

Alfred laughed awkwardly, "Of course you're not scared, Mattie! Just…"

Matthew cocked his head, "Alfred, are you scared of the dark?"

Alfred's eyes snapped open as he turned to look at Matthew, bewildered, "What!? Me? Scared of the dark!? Nooooo! No way…" he laughed awkwardly, turning away from Matthew.

Matthew continued to stare at Alfred who was still shuddering, his pace increasing as he tried to escape the dark of the night, not even the stars in the sky or moon there to light their way since the massive trees were covering them. It was then an idea came to Matthew's head.

Alfred let out a manly squeal when he suddenly felt Matthew slip out of his reach and heard distant rustling, indicating he had escaped into the forest.

"M-Mattie!?" Alfred shrieked, turning around in circles in hopes of seeing Matthew pop out and reveal he was just playing a joke on him.

"Just wait a minute!" came Matthew's reply from somewhere to the side, "Don't move!" he ordered.

Alfred stiffened in his stance, and took Matthew's orders a little too literally as he refused to move a muscle as he stood in silence, waiting for his Mattie to come back.

Much to Alfred's relief, only a few minutes had passed before he saw Matthew emerge from the off path foliage. He raised his arms in the air, ready to tack Matthew down before, "Don't you dare tackle me or you'll kill them." Matthew warned.

Alfred's eyes snapped open in alarm, "Who's them!? is someone else with us!?" Alfred panicked, looking all around for any signs of unwanted visitors. Matthew laughed, shaking his head as he approached a skittish Alfred.

"Look at me Alfred" he called, Alfred immediately turning his attention back to Matthew. Matthew held his hands between them, cupped together as if holding something.

"Now hold out your hands" he asked with a reassuring smile. Alfred nodded nervously, reluctantly holding his hands out in front of him. Matthew nodded, opening his cupped hands slightly, just enough to slip on of Alfred's hands between them.

Alfred nearly ran away when he felt a buzzing against his hand, "W-what do you have in there!?" he asked.

Matthew ignored his question, "Now put your other hand on mind" he ordered. Alfred was about to just slip his hand out again and refuse to do it until Matthew told him what the heck he was up to, but he immediately clamped his hand as told when he saw the death glare Matthew was sending him.

He gulped nervously, preparing himself to be stung or bitten, but it never came. Matthew slowly slipped his hands away leaving Alfred's cupped hands holding what he had previous had.

"Fireflies." Matthew stated simply.

"Firefli-" it was then Alfred noticed the faint glowing emitting from the cracks of his fingers.

Matthew giggled at the dazed expression Alfred had on as he admired his glowing hands, feeling the small insects crawls around in his hands.

"That will be your light until we get to wherever crazy date spot you picked this time" Matthew said, linking his arm with Alfred's elbow. "Feel better?" he asked, but Alfred was still too mesmerized by the bugs to give a proper answer or defend himself with claims that he was never scared at all, so merely nodded his head with a goofy grin.

"Good!" Matthew giggled, starting down the path again before Alfred snapped out of his reverie and began guiding them again.

"We'll make it in no time, Mattie!" he promised.

* * *

"We're here, we're here!" Alfred shouted excitedly, finally releasing the fireflies as he led Matthew into a large clearing in the forest. Matthew stumbled after him, too amazed by their surroundings to walk properly yet.

"Sunflowers?" he asked, looking at Alfred for answers. Alfred eagerly nodded, "Sunflowers!"

The entirety of the field was covered in sunflowers that reached their thighs, not a spot of land was left uncovered. This would not have been nearly as shocking has it not been the middle of winter and still snow season.

"But… how?" Matthew asked, leaning down to brush his fingers against the petals of one.

Alfred shrugged his shoulders, "Don't know, nobody does, really!" he said, grasping Matt's hands again and leading his on to a familiar spot he would frequent when the time called for. "They stay alive all year long; don't waver even if it snowed for days without end!" he explained, "Legend goes that long ago, a fairy had made the wish upon a star that these flowers stay alive for all of eternity, as long as the love for her lover went on." ***

Matthew hummed, still running his free hand through the flowers in curiosity as Alfred led them to a small rising in the middle of the field that would have been perfect for the show they were about to receive. Alfred was looking away, checking his phone and the time to make sure they hadn't arrived late.

Alfred finally let go of Matthew's hand when they got to their spot on the rising that was mostly clear of the yellow giants inhabiting the rest of the field, traded for much smaller ones scattered about. He looked up to admire the clear sky they got tonight, "Alright, this is the best seat in the house for- MATTHEW WHAT ARE YOU EATING!?" Alfred shrieked when he turned back to Matthew to find him turned away from him, a faint chewing sound coming from him.

Matthew whipped his head around, the stem of a sunflower between his head and one in each hand making him look like a stereotypical Latin dancer with a rose in his mouth and maracas. "Shlowurs" Matthew mumbled, still chewing on the stem as if nothing was out of the ordinary.

Alfred leapt forward and snatched the flower out of his mouth, "Mattie! You can't stick random plants in your mouth, you know they can be poisonous!" he tried to reason as Matthew began chewing on the petals of one of the others in his hands.

Matthew shook his head, taking a moment to chew and swallow what was in his mouth. "Sunflowers won't hurt me, you should know – you spent an hour googling just about every plant you could think of when you read that tumblr post about plants poisoning cats" he grumbled, flashbacks of Alfred spazzing out over every plant Matthew got near and demanding they google is before he got remotely near it.

Alfred stuck his tongue out at him, "Well sue me for caring! But enough of that," he reached forward and tugged Matthew in close, "It's almost time" he whispered excitedly.

Matthew stared at him in confusion, "Time for wh-"

"It's a surprise!" Alfred said, "You'll just have to be a good kitty and wait" he grinned, plopping down on the floor and rapidly patting the ground next to him for Matthew to sit down. Matthew rolled his eyes, but smiled fondly as he dropped to the floor beside Alfred only to be pulled into his arms tightly.

"I think you'll really like it" Alfred whisper, trying to force Matthew onto his lap. When Matthew finally relented and sat himself between Alfred's legs, he finally asked, "So what's got you so excited?" Matthew asked, yelping when strong arms wrapped around his torso and tugged him backwards into Alfred's chest.

Alfred nuzzled his nose on Matthew's hair, Matt's blond ears twitching against his cheeks. "A surprise~" he sing songed, "But get ready to make like, a million wishes tonight!"

The last part confused him, but he decided he'd let it go since Alfred was very stubborn when it came to revealing secrets. Matthew relaxed in his hold, resigning to his fate of being used as a rag doll for tonight, "Alright~" he sing songed back teasingly, looking up at the sky with Alfred as he awaited this "surprise".

It wasn't until Matthew saw a streak of light ran across the sky that Matthew snapped out of his dazed and relaxed state, "What was that!?" he asked in alarm, his tail stood straight into Alfred's face, his ears raised in alarm along with his actual hair causing him to look like a mad man.

"What we're here for!" Alfred exclaimed, latching onto Matthew's chest and throwing himself back against the cool grass as Matthew's makeshift bed. Matthew was about to ask him what in the word he was talking about when all words failed him as 2 more streaks of light. "Meteor shower! Hurry Mattie, make a wish! They're called shooting stars, supposed to take your wishes with them to the heavens, and make them come true!" he exclaimed gleefully, wiggling a stunned Matthew in his arms.

Matthew was born in a lab; it wasn't until Alfred had taken him that he had learned about the outside world. And just when he thought he'd heard of everything like bodies of water as far as the eye can see, giant masses of rocks reaching the clouds and beyond, water literally coming from the sky, he couldn't imagine how much more fascinating it could get. But now this?!

"A-Alfred!? What do I wish for, I'm confused!"

Alfred laughed behind him, but Matthew was too distracted by the seemingly never ending light show in the sky to get miffed at him. "Anything Mattie!" he shouts, "Don't worry! You have time; it won't end for a while!"

Matthew nodded, "I wish-"he was interrupted by a hand slapping over his mouth, "You can't say them out loud Matt! Or else they won't come true!"

Matthew's eyes widened, flying stars sure are demanding! But he nodded in understanding.

"Good!" Alfred said behind him as he pulled his hand off, "Let's wish together!" Alfred suggested happily and Matthew made a hum of approval. Alfred held his hands in front of Matthew's face, "Wishes work better if… if you hold hands!" he quickly lied.

"Oh" Matthew nodded, reaching up to grab Alfred's hands. Alfred would have high fived himself for that awesome lie, 'I'm brilliant!'

"Hm?" Matthew hummed, looking up at him curiously, "What did you say?" Matthew questioned.

Alfred's cheeks flared up when he realized he said that out loud, "Nothing!" he quickly exclaimed, turning away from Matthew's curious eyes. "J-Just, let's just make our wishes!" he quickly excused.

That seemed to distract Matthew immediately

'_I wish for Matthew to stay with me forever'_ Alfred wished, lowering his head to nuzzle Matthew's head again.

'_I wish for a lifetime supply of mice to hunt'_ Matthew wished with a goofy smile on his face. When he suddenly felt Alfred's face against his hair, he jumped slightly at the affection before a blush formed on his cheeks. _'Oh, and I wish that Alfred could be mine forever! Yes, that too_' he added with a small smile, pushing his head up to nuzzle it against his loving owner's face.

Alfred laughed against him, holding onto the cat tighter. "I love you Mattie" Alfred murmured softly against his hair.

When he felt Matthew stiffen against his body, he realized what he said – 'Oh shit was it too soo-'

"I love you too Alfred" Matthew whispered back, finally relaxing against his body again much to Alfred's relief.

Matthew was shocked to hear the words out of Alfred's mouth, his understanding of what "love" meant was somewhat muddled with all the different things he's heard. Some say love is exciting and adventurous, others say its blissful and calm, some say it's a magical spark you feel.

It didn't take him long to realize that for him, Alfred was all those things. And he couldn't be happier.

So they both lied in the grass as they waited for the shower to end, Alfred had taken his sweater off and laid it over the both of them like a makeshift blanket with the thought of putting it back on when they were ready to go back. They eventually fell asleep, not even Alfred's shivering throughout the night waking Matthew up.

* * *

Note: Yes, you guessed it, the next chapter is the NURSE MATTHEW AND SICK ALFRED!

You know Matthew has a tumblr, somewhere. Cats would totally all have them. My old cat, Crackhead, would probably blog about Japanese food and "20 different ways to SIT ON YOUR OWNER'S FUCKING FACE".

*** (explanation for sunflower field) I like linking together my stories with setting or small retellings of stories that match others (but just in different time periods). So in this particular chapter, the sunflower field is reference the sunflower field in my Nyo Rusame Cinderella AU that fairy Gilbert created that will never lose their magic. Obviously the legend warped over time which is why the legend doesn't match the story, but it counts. They're like Easter eggs for myself or people who read more than one of my stories :3


	12. Human Heater

Note: I'm sick so I made Alfred sick too.

* * *

12\. Cat boys don't make good nurses (But they sure are a lot cuter than most nurses!)

"_**ACHOO!**_"

Matthew ran back in the room with a bucket full of towels, kneeling by the bed where a huffing and cherry faced Alfred lied in bed. "Mattieeee, this is the end…" he groaned. Yesterday he had leant Matthew his sweater to ensure he'd be warm, leaving him with nothing but a shirt. So while Matthew was perfectly fine, he ended up getting sick instead.

"Come on Alfred, it can't be so bad being your own personal heater" Matthew murmured as he pulled out a rag from the bucket beside him.

"You're just saying that because you've never had a fever! But it isn't warm, it feels like I'm freezing my butt off!" he huffed.

Matthew frowned, very confused at how Alfred could possible cold when his body was radiating heat, but decided to let it go as he folded the rag and placed it on Alfred's forehead.

Alfred furrowed his brows under the rag, reaching up to pat it softly. "Mattie… what are you doing?"

Matthew shrugged, "I've seen people put rags on people who are sick, figured it would work with you. Is it just a movie myth?" he asked, cocking his head.

"But…" Alfred pulled the rag off his head, feeling it between both hands before he looked at Matthew, then back at the rag, before his face broke into smile just moments before he started laughing loudly.

"You're supposed to wet it!" he laughed, "Not just throw it on my head while it's dry!" he suddenly stopped laughing, gasping in air. "O-Ok, no… no more… l-laughing while sick" he huffed out.

Matthew pouted, suddenly feeling self conscious, "How was I supposed to know!" he whined, pulling the rag back out of Alfred's hand and throwing in the bucket.

Alfred shook his head, a fond smile still on his face, "I know, I know. You had no way of knowing, but it was still so cute~" he continued to tease, trying to reach for Matthew to give him an ear scratch.

Matthew continued to pout but allowed Alfred to scratch his ears under the excuse of "He's sick, can't be too mean to him", and purred softly into the touch for a few moments before shaking Alfred's hand off and getting up again, bucket in hand.

"Well just wait here and I'll be back with wet rags. Really, don't know why you would ever purposely wet yourself. I was right to call you a dog" he joked before stepping out of the room, a faint "I love you Mattieeee" coming from the room he just left.

He shook his head with a soft laugh, "Love you too, dog" he murmured.

By the time Matthew had returned with decently damp rags, Alfred was snoring away on the bed. Matthew carefully walked to the bed, kneeling down beside it again and folding a rag before placing it on Alfred's forehead.

Alfred let out a soft murmur of appreciation, never opening his eyes as he began to softly snore again.

Matthew rested his head on the bed, watching over Alfred to make sure he was fast asleep before he decided to carefully crawl onto the bed and over Alfred, snuggling against Alfred's side with a content sigh by his own human heater.

* * *

Note: GDI Alfred don't you know you're supposed to lie down in a bathtub full of ice, or else your brain will fry in your head!? Oh wait, you don't have Hispanic parents.

*Warlike flashbacks of memories of my childhood fevers full of ice water, vaporu, and being rubbed with alcohol*

in other news, i've had the song "everybody wants to be a cat" (the last minute of the song) stuck in my head on loop for 3 days. There is no escape.


	13. Bikes

13\. Cats aren't meant to ride bikes.

"A-Alfred, I don't think this is safe!" Matthew whined as he straddled the bike Alfred was balancing up for him. His tail had stilled from it's usual constant swaying whenever they went to his favorite park, and his ears were pressed down against his head and he stood on the very tips of his toes. Well, usually he was ecstatic to come to this park. It was huge, with a pond smack in the middle filled with ducks that would waddle towards him whenever he brought food.

The only thing different this time was he didn't trust the metal contraption he was hovering over. Not even enough to actually sit on it, let alone sit on it and take his feet off the ground.

Alfred laughed, "Come on, I already told you I wouldn't let go! This is just for practice." Alfred promised, letting one of the handlebars go to gently coax Matthew's behind down against the seat. After a few tugs to his shirt, Matthew reluctantly sat down.

"You... You promise right? You won't let go, will you!? Because I'll kill you!" Matthew babbled as his eyes darted from Alfred's eyes to the handlebars back and forth.

Alfred nodded reassuringly, gently petting down Matthew's back. "Of course Mattie, I wouldn't let go." He lied, the hand petting Matthew's back now sporting crossed fingers. It was just a little white lie! All parents did this, right? That's how all kids learn how to ride a bike!

Your guardian tells you they won't let go of you, and right when you feel comfortable, they let go and pretend to still be holding on. And then the second they reveal they had let go already, you become a master biker!

The fact the he fell into spider filled bushes when his father did the same thing to him was purely a 1 in a million thing that wouldn't happen to Matthew, there weren't even any bushes here!

Matthew took in a deep breath, "Alright... I'll do it." Matthew said, nodding to himself.

Alfred laughed nervously, something Matthew completely missed as wiggled on the hard seat trying to find a comfortably spot. Alfred's hands tightened around the handle bar and he left his hand at Matthew's back.

"Now just lift your feet up, and put them on the pedals." Alfred instructed.

Matthew nodded, and yelped when the bike wobbled under him when he lost his footing. "ALFRED, NO!" He cried, shutting his eyes and preparing for death.

But when nothing happened, he cracked his eyes open. Alfred had his lips pursed as he held in laughter, but he was still holding onto Matthew and the bike.

Matthew let out a sigh of relief, "Ok stop laughing, I got it." Matthew pouted, resting his hands on the handlebars.

Alfred nodded, "Great job," Alfred praised, scratching Matthew's back encouragingly. "So now all you have to do it... Pedal" Alfred said, taking a step forward and slowly bringing the bike forward. He ignored Matthew's pleads for going slower, he needed to help Matthew get over the fear, not coddle him!

After a few steps he noticed Matthew had gone quiet aside from the occasional yelp whenever they passed a crack, and he finally started to move his own legs instead of letting Alfred work alone.

"See Matthew, it isn't too scary, right?" Alfred smiled, finally looking up from the pedals to check Matthew. His face was regaining some of its color again, and he was now focusing on the path ahead instead of the handle bars.

"Y-yeah... But you still can't let go!" Matthew warned quickly, his tail shooting up straight at the thought.

Alfred laughed and nodded, "Just keep going Matthew, pick up the pace a little." He encouraged, no longer pushing and just allowing Matthew to do ride forward.

After a few minutes of they slowly moving forward together, Alfred found himself doing nothing but keeping his hands raised and walking beside him. Matthew seemed to no longer have any issues with balance, and his riding was now going smoothly.

"You're going to be a pro soon!" Alfred chirped, slowly moving his hands down hoping Matthew wouldn't notice.

But the glare Matthew show him the second his hands moved halted him. Too soon.

"Matthew, my arms are getting tired-"

"DONT YOU DARE LET GO!" Matthew warned, turning away from the path to stare at Alfred in alarm. Luckily Alfred's hands were still on him and the bike since Matthew lost temporary balance again.

"No, no, I won't let go!" Alfred assured, "I'm just going to hold onto the bar of the seat," he explained. "I'll have a better grip of it there, and my arms won't get tired." He tried to reason.

Matthew narrowed his eyes suspiciously, thinking it over before he nodded. "Ok, but I'll keep making sure you're still holding on! This isn't about to turn into some lifetime movie scene." He assured.

Alfred snorted and nodded. He trailed the hand he had on Matthew's back down and grabbed onto the seat bar, holding onto it loosely before releasing the handle bar. He noticed the stutter Matthew gave in his pedaling, "I've got it Matthew, don't worry, just make sure you keep pedaling." He assured.

Matthew huffed, but nodded again before looking back at the path and continuing his steady pedaling. He was going a little faster than before since he had full control of the handles, and was making Alfred jog awkwardly beside him to keep up.

True to his word, ever few moments he would look back to make sure Alfred's hand was still on the bike. Every time he looked back, sure enough, Alfred's hand was under the seat.

What he hadn't noticed was that Alfred wasn't even gripping onto it anymore. His hand stayed hovering beside it the entire time, and Matthew was riding alone at this point.

"How do you like it so far?" Alfred asked, noticing Matthew's steadily increasing speed and the smile now growing on his face as he leant forward on the bike.

"It's fun!" He chirped, finally beginning to enjoy the cool wind against his face and the closest feeling he could get to flying. Matthew was growing even more excited when they neared the pond, already spotting his favorite goose from a distance sitting below the shade of a large tree. Archimedes, Mr. Medes for short, was a large Canadian goose with a broken wing. He stood out since since his right wing stood straight out, and compared to the other geese, he was as docile as could be.

"Alfred, let's go see Mr. Medes?" He asked excitedly, pedaling faster and expecting Alfred to follow along.

He waited for a few more moments for an answer, but got none. "Alfred?" He asked, slowing down and turning back, terrified to see empty space where Alfred was supposed to be.

It was then he noticed Alfred waving from yards away, "SEE MATTHEW? YOU DID IT!" He cheered, clapping for him.

"ALFRED!" He shrilled, suddenly feeling the world shake under him as he lost all balance.

"MATTIE, DON'T-"

But it was too late. Matthew had completely direction and forgot to turn at the pond, resulting in the bike slamming onto the large rocks bordering the pond and force stopping it with Matthew flinging forward. He splashed belly first into the murky water, ducks panicking around him and speeding away while a few goose stayed and honked angrily at the intruder.

"MATTHEW, NO!" Alfred cried as he sprinted down the path Matthew went down on and belly flopping onto the water following Matthew.

The second he got in, Matthew's sopping wet head popped out. His hair plastered over his eyes and ears drooping down over his head.

"Matthew! Oh god, are you ok, are you hurt?" Alfred rapidly questioned, reaching forward to pat his hands all over Matthew's head as if making sure he was actually there.

Matthew shook his head, splattering water on Alfred again as he shook it off of himself and cleared the hair sticking onto his face.

"You're so dead." Matthew growled, only giving Alfred a few seconds of warning before he pounced on Alfred claws-first, pushing him back down under the murky water.

0o0o0o0o0

Notes: I know this sounds straight out from a stereotypical movie scene but this really happened to my grandmother like 5 years ago. She flew right into the pond while biking and some random guy who was fishing ran in after her (it was like 5 feet deep where she dove in, but she's like 4 foot something.) and pulled her out.


	14. Tails

Note: This story is still alive. 

* * *

14: Thou shall not molest your cat boy's tail while he sleeps.

_Purrrrrr_~

Another content vibration emitted from Matthew who had fallen asleep, once again, sprawled sideways across Alfred's lap while he had been talking to a client on the phone. Again.

It started when Alfred had finally received the phone call he had been expecting all week, and he sat down in the living room sofa while Matthew busied himself with the Christmas tree in the corner, turning the light on and off and reorganizing the ornaments.

But the second Alfred had started talking on the phone, Matthew suddenly stopped. Alfred knew what was coming the second he felt himself being watched, and sure enough it only took a few seconds more for Matthew to launch himself on the sofa beside Alfred.

No amount of gentle swatting or hushed_ "Matthew, I'll play with you later, I'm busy right now"_ were able to spare Alfred from the particularly clingy mood Matthew always seems to have whenever Alfred is most busy.

When Alfred was alone in the middle of the night at craving cuddles?

_Matthew has mysteriously disappeared once again in the house._

Alfred is shivering mad and needs his cuddly cat boy to give him extra warmth?

_Gone, gone with the wind is Matthew.  
_  
But when Alfred is in the middle of an important business call with one of his most frequent clients, Matthew suddenly appears! Complete with rapid tail flicking and stubborn mewls and scratches when Alfred tries to ignore him.

"No, thank you for your call Mr. Beilschmidt, I'll make sure to get started on it right away." Alfred finished with a smile before hanging up the phone, sighing in relief of another promising job.

_Purrrrrr...mmmf...  
_  
He was brought back down to the present when Matthew shifted again on his lap, burying his face against his stomach and draping an arm over his own head. It turned out the 20 minute phone call was too long for Matthew to keep focused when Alfred was successfully ignoring him, and he instead took to making a bed out of his lap.

"Yeah, sleep ya little butt head." He grumbled, throwing his head back against the couch with shut eyes and resigning himself to being stuck in this position. Forever to stay here without moving a single muscle for worry of waking Matthew. This was his life now.

Alfred sighed and looked down again, staring at Matthew who had hidden his face against him.

_Flick_

Alfred jolted when his arm was tapped lightly. He looked to his left where the swat came from to notice the way Matthew's tail gave a final tiny twitch before going still again.

Matthew, without a doubt, had one of the most divine tails in all of history. All the other cats and cat hybrids alike would have to shield their eyes in they _glory_ that was his kitty's tail. It had a lush golden shine to its pristine long fur that swished with the lightest twitch. As mildly disgusted as Alfred was whenever he had to witness Matthew face first into his own tail, slow,_loud_ , licks to its entire length. He had to admit, the results were worth it.

_'I mean it wouldn't kill him to take a bath instead, but…'_ Alfred scrunched his nose.

Now that he thought of it... He had never gotten a chance to really... Touch it. Well, aside from the times Matthew had dragged it across his face in the middle of the night or smacked him with it.

But there it was, just beyond his reach. The golden fluffy tail laying perfectly still aside from the occasional flicker. Matthew still in a deep sleep and out of commission for the next hour or so.

…No… He shouldn't….

_Flick flick flick_

Oh screw it! Now was his chance, the feline gods have presented him with this opportunity and he had to take it!

Alfred was barely able to let out a gleeful shout when he realized this glorious opportunity! In fact, it took all of his will not to just grab the tail and squeeze it with all his might right now. '_But no, patience Alfred, you don't want a bloody face.'_

So he was careful. His left hand crept down besides Matthew's perfectly still body. He held his breath, biting his lip as his fingers twitched, his hand was only inches away from his prize! This was it…

His breath hitched when his fingertips poked the beginning of Matthew's tail that was sticking out of the back of his pants. He quickly looked back at Matthew, relieved to see he was still completely still.

One could argue this was the moment Alfred became a little too confident in himself, but Alfred would argue that Matthew just never truly slept. Because once he made sure Matthew was still asleep, he went farther and wrapped his hand around the middle of Matthew's tail. The soft hair fit against his palm perfectly as stray hairs poked out between his fingers.

He let out an involuntary giggle, one he swore was silent, and he wiggled his fingers against soft fur. This. This was heaven, he was sure. He just wanted to press his cheek against the softness and fall asleep!

He pulled the tail up higher, now wrapping both hands around it. He idly began running his fingers through its entire length, base to end. And he planned to continue to for much longer, had it not been for the sudden chill that ran up his spine.

He stood completely still, hands unmoving, yet the tail in his hands still moved. It was swaying from side to side despite Alfred not making a single move to continue his ministrations.

Matthew was awake... Alfred gulped and prepared himself for the inevitable swipe he had earned for practically molesting Matthew in his sleep. But as a few moments passed and no stinging to his cheeks had happened, he braved himself enough to glance down at his lap.

Matthew was awake as he had feared, but didn't look nearly as pissed as he would have assumed. In fact, Matthew looked to appear to be the exact opposite. He was staring up at him with half lidded eyes, still visibly tired (no doubt the surprise running marathon he had in the living room at 3 am with the hamster this morning had finally caught up).

It had caught Alfred by surprise when instead of escaping, Matthew had swung an arm forward and gripped his shoulder. The other hand came shortly, also grabbing onto his other shoulder.

"Matthew?" Alfred questioned as his cat boy pulled himself up with Alfred's shoulders as leverage. Matthew slowly swung his leg over Alfred's lap and straddled over it before plopping down on it comfortably.

"Good night." Matthew muttered, leaning forward and burying his face between the crook of Alfred's neck.

Alfred furrowed his brows, thoroughly confused at the lack of annoyance or even a tiny scold. But… He decided not to question it, just to be safe. Perhaps Matthew was too sleepy to even realized what he had been doing, and only a fool would spoil this perfect opportunity. So he decided to zip his lips and let Matthew use his as a temporary bed for the next … However long it took his to wake up.

And as content as Alfred should have been with his affectionate pet, there was only one issue though...

Alfred suddenly really had to pee.

* * *

note: I'm convinced pets are psychic and know exactly when you need to pee, and choose that moment to cuddle up to you.

So Matthew didn't forgive him for the uncalled for tail groping. Oh no. He just decided to be patient and have the ULTIMATE revenge as he pretend sleeps for the next 3 hours and poor Alfred is stuck there with a full bladder.


End file.
